"Commercial Fishing Tragedy at Sea" - Marilyn d'Entremont

Tune in  on this International Day of Mourning to hear Marilyn d'Entremont share the story of her husband Lewis, who lost his life in a commercial fishing tragedy at sea and the impact it's had on her, and her family.  

Transcript

Perley Brewer   0:12
Welcome to today's podcast.
My name is Pearlie Brewer and I will be your host.
Today's podcast guest is Marilyn Deltamas, who is here today to share with us a story of the lost of her husband, who is employed in the fishing industry and of the impact it had on our place.
I'd like to start this Podcast by reading a few comments from our recent article on the fishing industry from the Globe and Mail.
Despite Safety gains in many other industries, fishing continues to have the highest fatality rate of any employment security in Canada, even as a long list of the dead continue to grow, regulators and policy makers are challenged by the grim that idealism that pervades the world in which generation sufficient men have gone out into the sea and all too often have not come home in the tiny in the tidy port town of Lunenburg, NS, near the Ocean's edge, and touching memorial list of fishermen who have lost their lives at sea since 1890.
Dedicated to the memory of those who have gone down to the sea in ships, says the inscription on the slab of black clamp granite and to those who continue to occupy the businesses and the great waters, the monument across from the Fisherman Museum or the Atlantic.
And just down from the Fisherman's Memorial Hospital, this more than 600 names with many surnames repeated etched on the three sided stone columns.
It's a powerful reminder of the deadly toll suffered in one profession.
In one town, such memorials Dot the town suite to South Shore.
Not everyone is a fan.
I don't like them, said Stuart Frank, who led the Fisheries Safety Association of Nova Scotia from 2011 to his retirement in July.
They leave spaces for names to be added.
That sense, I mean invalid invertibility.
That actions happened had little can be done to prevent them frustrates those like Mr Frank, who are working to instill a safety culture in the sector he calls Memorial.
Pessimistic a much longer data project conducted by the global mail with Statistics Canada reveals a fisherman as a singer highest fatality rate of any sector in the country.
The single highest fatality rate of any sector in the country among individual occupations for which data are available.
Fully three of the top six most deadly jobs, deckhands, fishermen and marine harvesters are in fishing.
To put that risk into perspective, being a deckhand is 14 times more deadly than being a police officer, 14 times more deadly than being a police officer, a job widely perceived as dangerous.
And who's on the job? Fatalities partner.
Much public attention, Marilyn.
Thank you for bringing to Share your story with us today.

Marilyn D'Entremont   3:15
Thank you for having me.

Perley Brewer   3:17
Let's start a discussion, Marilyn with you telling us what's your life was like prior to the day your husband died on the job, starting with how you met each other.

Marilyn D'Entremont   3:29
Well, we met each other.
Um, I had befriended his sister in high school, and so I met him through her and.
He had ventured down to where I live, which was probably half an hour drive and um he we were at A at a dance like you.
Teenagers dance like this was a long time ago and he he just tapped me on the shoulder and he said like high like, you know, do you Remember Me kindly?
He was very shy and and I I liked him right away.
He was he had that presence of just being a good person.
You could see it in his eyes and in his shyness, and we began dating probably six months after that.
And you?
I he was a welder at the time and I was still in high school.
I was in grade 10 and so we dated for a few years before we got married.

Perley Brewer   4:48
So he was a welder when you you started dating him later, he became a fisherman.
How do you feel about that?

Marilyn D'Entremont   4:56
I cried.
I come from a family where there is no fisherman in my family.
I've always been a bit trepidatious about the water and so when he was when I met him and he was a welder, I thought, oh, this is great.
Like, he's not gonna be a fisherman, but he became a subset table.
Like I think this word and with the welders flashes, which are very painful and he could no longer do that profession.
So he he one day told me.
That he had to quit doing welding and always said I would never date or get married to a fisherman.
And but I had.
I was already hooked.
Pardon the pun.
I was already in love with him and so I married him despite the fact that he was a fisherman.

Perley Brewer   5:58
So tell us what happened the day he died.

Marilyn D'Entremont   6:02
The day he died was like I can remember it very well.
Of course.
Well, it was September 23rd, 2004.
It was a beautiful, beautiful night here in southwestern Scotia.
I had just gone for a walk and I remember, like I always worried about him on the water, that he was very healthy.
He was very agile.
He didn't drink.
He didn't smoke and I knew he was careful and but that night, um, I just came home and it's it's so it's strangest thing.
I remember thinking how lucky I was because I had three wonderful children.
Two of them were in Halifax and my son was at home was 50 and I came home, you know, just being thankful and being very happy like this.
This is what I wanted, was married to the to the love of my life.
Um ohm and I was very contented with my life and um, it's just got yanked right away from me.
Our neighbor.
Was an RCMP officer and she was just a young constable.
She had just moved in the area and my husband had kind of befriended her in the way like A He felt that she was young.
She was the same age as one of our daughters, and so he was always concerned, like when she was out patrolling or if she had things to do around the house.
Yeah, I kind of adopted her as A and I still had eye.
And so she was going to be leaving to go visit her family the next day, so.
She received a call from an another officer, cause she wasn't on duty that night, and the other officer told about, and it had upset his neighbor very much and belt.
So when I saw the police cruiser come into my driveway, I just thought it was her bringing me the key for her house because I was going to be babysitting her cat while she was away.
Visiting so to me, seeing police cruiser drive up my driveway was something that occurred quite often because of my neighbor, and it didn't alarm me at all.
But when I went to the door, she knocked, which was kind of weird.
But, but you know, it was like 10:00 at night and I went and answered the door and she was standing there and she had PJ's on and had her constable jacket over her P jeans, which is not what they ever do.

Perley Brewer   8:46
The.

Marilyn D'Entremont   9:05
And she was crying.
And I thought what has happened to her family?
Never ever thought that it was something that had happened, and she walked in and she had another lady like dressed in the course school uniform and still thinking it was something that happened to my neighbor or her family.
They walked in and she, the other constable, told me that there had been an incident.
I see.

Perley Brewer   9:39
So.

Marilyn D'Entremont   9:40
That's when my whole Ashley Hole life change.

Perley Brewer   9:42
Know what?
So what happened at sea?

Marilyn D'Entremont   9:48
So the.
We all know that fishing is dangerous.
There's no doubt about that.
Most professions are dangerous.
But what happened at sea had nothing to do with the danger of the of the fishing.
It had to do with a malfunctioning piece of equipment and that.
Allowed or resulted, I guess, and my husband being pushed over the boat and not be made aboard the vote while he was doing his duties.
So my life since then has been trying to raise awareness.
In.
People thinking about what dangers that can be prevented in such an industry, especially in fishing, it is dangerous.

Perley Brewer   10:50
Yeah.

Marilyn D'Entremont   10:54
We know that weather has a big component.
You know there at the open sea that the mercy of of the weather and the winds and the heavy equipment that they deal with all the time, let's keep that in one bucket.

Perley Brewer   11:07
Thank.

Marilyn D'Entremont   11:10
But let's talk about.
Not allowing things that could be prevented to have.
It's.
I hope that's making sense to you.

Perley Brewer   11:22
Yeah.
Do do you think the attitude has changed at all over the last, say 5-10 years as to fishermen and the approach they take on the job as far as dangers go?

Marilyn D'Entremont   11:37
It has changed.
It's changed for the better.
It's changed for the worse.
Again, it's changed for the better.
Again, it's kind of like a yoyo fact, and this is my opinion.
We have collaboratively tried to with, you know, and all these years it's been 20 years, have tried to promote workplace safety through other industries like I've been donate hearing with and just trying to change the culture kind of the way of thinking because some people say well, it's a dangerous job.
Well, yes, it's a dangerous job.
Carpentry is a dangerous job too.
If you go up about a roof with a faulty ladder or scaffolding or anything like that, like we're all have some sort of dangerous and components in our workplace, but they the some of them don't have to be dangerous and having a malfunctioning piece of equipment is one of the things that should have been.
But looked at before this happened, we have been promoting the personal flotation devices or for PFD's for the fishermen.
This has been something that's been for enforced quite a bit in the last 20 years and we've met.
Resistance from the fisherman.
They weren't comfortable.
We've talked to a different suppliers to make the the PFD's more comfortable so that they can wear them when they're fishing.
Um, you go on the war for your.
Go to Dennis Point Wharf, which is not far from where I live and I see people all the time with no PFD's and I just want to you don't say, why would you not wear one?
Like, don't you have anybody at home that loves you?
Or don't you love the people at home?
Do you want to put them through something similar to what my family has gone through?
Like, why are you so?
Like not responsible for this.
The sad thing is.
They don't think it's going to happen to them and my husband. Anything.
What's gonna happen to him?
Either because we're all invincible, especially like when you you are certain ages.
I think when you grow older, you'll realize that things can happen because we sometimes grow wiser when we're older.
I don't know.
It's different attitude.
Um, that it's it's a culture for fishing.
It's a culture that has been.
So it's it's always been in our in our past, right?
So I mean our grandfathers, our great grandfathers have fish, but the fishing industry has changed so much in these last years that's so have our safety standards have changed and sometimes it's hard for the older fishermen especially to to accept that cause they'll say like we've been fishing this way for years.
Why do we have to change?
Well, years ago you didn't go out, you know, maybe 4 hours away.
You didn't spend the night out like you could different scenes play different boats, different equipments like the danger has increased.
And if the danger has increased, then social safety be, I think, changing to accommodate all the changes that they have in their fishing industry post.

Perley Brewer   15:25
What do you think it's gonna take to change the attitude of fishermen?

Marilyn D'Entremont   15:31
Oh, that's that's asked to me quite often and it's, I don't know what has to happen.
Um, I know that when my husband was killed due to to do do to what to do to that evening?
Um, a lot of fishermen felt that because as I mentioned earlier, he was a very kind person.
He was always looking for the underdog.
He was very well liked, came from a big family and people knew he didn't smoke or drink or he he was a cyclist.
He took care of himself and he could swim.
So if you could happen to him, I think a lot of fishermen at that time would.
Would say like if you happen to him, then maybe it can happen to me, but then the blame is placed on the way that they were fishing that night.
Uh, But then it's for them that instant, even though it was so important back then.
It it sometimes gets a little put on the back burner, not forgotten, but not so much in your face.
Um and.
If if of death doesn't.
Change the people's way of thinking.
I have no idea what can unless it happens to you.
Maybe you don't feel it as much.
That these are lives.
These are numbers like when Louis, lost his life, he left behind three kids.
Is he had two daughters.
One had just started a job that she had just graduated from from university.
The other daughter was in university and my son was 15 years old, so he never got a chance to go driving with his dad.
He never got a chance to have a beer at campsite with his dad.
Like just simple things like that.
When my daughter's got married, they didn't have their father to walk them down the aisle.
Like Lewis is missing not only the incident that has happened that he is missing from so many other things so that that miss continues, it just not, you know, you don't get over that because you have to live without that person.
So it's ongoing.
And if people don't realize that, I don't know what can make them change the way of thinking it could happen to you.
It happened to somebody like Louis, and we all have a person like Louis, and our families.
So when you sit around and we just celebrated Easter, when you sit around the Easter table, you look around that table.
Who is it that you don't want at that table next year you point to that person.
There's nobody and you don't want at that table.
You want them all there again next year, so Safety in any culture is so important.
I'm speaking about the fishing culture, but it any culture is important and we all have a Louis, in our family.
I talked about the RCMP next door.
She was part of her extended family, but that also affected her.
When Louis, passed, his mother was 84 years old.
Nobody at 84 should say goodbye to their son.
He was 49.
My kids had to learn how to live without their dad.
I had to learn to live without the love that I had with him.
The love never dies, but he's not here.
And when we go through other instances in our lives, he's still not here.
So it doesn't it.
It doesn't ever heal.
It's always there.
And I just improve everybody who works outside the home or even inside their home to be sure that they're working safely and cause everybody has a right to return home.
It's not fair.
Here to take that so lightly, it's not fair for your family.
Not favorite people love you and that will miss you forever.

Perley Brewer   20:22
Do you ever get a chance to talk to fisherman groups about what happened to your husband and had the effect his head on you?

Marilyn D'Entremont   20:28
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.

Perley Brewer   20:32
What sort of reaction do you get?

Marilyn D'Entremont   20:35
Umm, a lot of times.
Are they shared tears?
Because I think they can see themselves in those boots.
And.
It hits home like you have like because it's so real.
Um, for me it's a positive reaction, because if people listen with their hearts, they will hear my my message.
And they will bring that home and hopefully home their loved ones when they get there and we appreciate it.
Oh, there's safe return at home and to remember that some people don't get that chance.

Perley Brewer   21:26
You become a spokesperson for Threads of life.
I you do a number of presentations to groups on your story.
Uh, how has threads of life helped you?
It's a loss of your husband.

Marilyn D'Entremont   21:43
The rest of life has helped me immensely and and a whole bunch of ways.
When I first came to threads of life, I was simply Marilyn, who had lost her husband.
And that's probably the only place that I felt OK to share my story and to be broken as much as I was.
Because or and sometimes continue to be because I was amongst people who had similar stories than myself when I was home, I was trying to be brave and strong for my family and my my, my children or our children, his brothers and sisters, his family like it, his friends just goes on right and you just try to be strong.
But when I went and join threads of life, I could be me and I could start my own healing with the, with the circle of people who understood what I was going through.
Not that my family and friends didn't understand.
But I think it was more real with them because I was allowed to be.
It's a.
It's an amazing organization.
We they deal with people who have been affected by death, disease and disabilities through the workplace way back in 2004 when I joined, there were about 400 members.
And now there's close to.
4000 I think I'm trying to remember 4000 Members, so more people have found us and it's a national.
So it's across Canada and it's a club that we don't want anymore members to join because we don't want many anymore instances to happen that realistically it's a place where you will be most welcome and you if you have gone through that disease or disabilities in the workplace, you should reach out to threads of life.
It's found on most social media.

Perley Brewer   24:00
Find OHSAA.
Marilyn, how are you and your family doing today?
You you mentioned it's it's an ongoing process.

Marilyn D'Entremont   24:08
Yes.
Well, you learn to live with lots.
It's not that you grow out of losing someone, you just learn to live with that person, always missing. Um.
It's kind of like waves.
Like you know, some days you you think less about it than other days, but there's so many things that you go through as a parent.
And.
For myself personally, I would have.
I miss that he's not here to share some things.
Some wonderful things and also some not so wonderful things that I feel he should have been able to be here with us to help us through or to celebrate us through.
There's always an empty chair in Christmas time or weddings, or humans too.
It's it's always missing.
My my children seem to be doing well.
I was.
It was just so heartbreaking to lose Louis, myself.
The to wash my children lose their dad was a whole other level of perfect also, because anyone who is apparent when your child is hurting, you hurt too and you see you see the last in their eyes and they want to be strong for their siblings and their mom too.
And you see them struggling and it's it's it's just, it's just difficult.

Perley Brewer   26:03
Look, Marilyn, I wanna thank you very much for sharing your story with with our listeners today.
I know what has to be extremely difficult.
Um, I'm a big believer though.
In in having people like yourself Share your story because people have to realize when we we talk about health and safety, it's it's personal, it's it comes down to the message you've given today and that no one, no one is above being injured or or killed on the job.
And and people need to understand that, and they need to understand the importance of of working safely.
This podcast is being released ohhhhh today on April the 28 on the National Day of Mourning, an opportunity that has been created for us to reflect on those who have died on the job.
If you have the opportunity to attend a National day of mourning event, please do.
If you are not able to, or if you're listening to this podcast after April 28th, have a moment of silence to reflect on the importance of stained safe from the job and for the life that you have.
Remember, others have not been as fortune before you take the next step, do your next task.
Take another moment to think about what you need to do to keep yourself safe and to be able to go home at the end of the day, remembered, not everyone will. Again.
I'd like to thank you, Marilyn, for sharing your story and we appreciate you taking the time today and Monday, the day of mourning is a chance to to remember individuals like your husband who unfortunately have paid that price.
But hopefully it remind people of the importance of working safely.
Thank you very much.

Marilyn D'Entremont   27:50
Thank you for the opportunity.

Perley Brewer   27:52
So I'd like to thank Marilyn for joining us on today's podcast.
Stay safe.
We will see you next week.
Thank you.
Again, Marilyn must be must be a hard story to tell.

Marilyn D'Entremont   28:08
Sometimes it's harder than others.

Perley Brewer   28:10
OK.